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- • Be aware that your partner may not know what to say. Your spouse or lover may not know how or when to
- bring up the topic of sexuality and so wait for you to do it. Your partner may be afraid of hurting or
- embarrassing you and want to protect your feelings. Sometimes this "protection" may feel like rejection.
- Although you might feel that it's risky to break the ice and approach the topic yourself, most people feel
- relieved once they've done it.
- • You both may also worry about pain. If your incision or muscles are tender, minimize the pressure on your
- chest area. If you lie on your unaffected side, you can have more control over your movements and reduce any
- irritation to the incision. If your partner is on top, you may protect the affected area by putting your hand
- under your chin and your arm against your chest.
- • If you feel any pain, stop. And let your partner know why you are stopping. If he knows that you'll tell him
- what is painful, he will feel more relaxed and will be less inhibited in exploring and experimenting with you.
- Taking a rest or changing position may help you relax, and relaxing will usually decrease any pain. You can also
- apply extra lubrication. With communication and cooperation, you can work together to find positions and
- activities that give you the most pleasure.
- • Experimentation and time seem to be the keys to finding satisfactory ways of adapting to the loss of such a
- symbolically important part of the body as the breast. Talking with other women who have had mastectomies
- women from the American Cancer Society's Reach to Recovery program, for example—can provide support
- and encouragement as well as suggestions about clothes and prostheses.
